gurf.com - humor - What's It Worth?

     Cynthia rang, “How goes?”
    “Fine Loliplum. Getting my furniture appraised.”
    “Anything good, Gurf?”
    “Nothing worthy of the Keno brothers, though I thought my Charlie the Second armchair might be an important piece.”
    “Is it?”
    “It’s not important, but it appraised at several times what I paid for it.”
    “Could you retire on it?”
    “I could sit on it after I retire.”
    “Anything else?”
    “My Gothic-Revival bookcase.”
    “Is it important?”
    “No. It too is insignificant.”
    “How come?”
    “Guess cause it’s factory-made. And there are condition issues.”
    “Do you have anything that’s important?”
    “My eyesight. That’s important.”
    “I mean furniture. How about your Victorian table?”
    “Condition issues. And it’s missing leaves, though I could probably pick up some at Lowe’s.”
    “So nothing you have is important.”
    “There’s the 17th Century armchair. It might be important.”
    “How will you know?”
    “After I make good enough photos to send off. One thing— I believe it’s Italian.”
    “What makes you think that?”
    “The carving is so accurate that I figure it was made on August 22, 1642, sometime between noon and 6:00 PM. That suggests Venice. Even if the chair isn’t important it should be worth something.”
    “Because of its age?”
    “Yeah, and it’s so regal in appearance that it might be the best substitute for someone who can’t afford a starter throne. Don’t know if you’ve checked, but real thrones are out of sight— that’s when you can even find them.”
    “Castles aren’t that hard to latch on to— there’s even a website for them. Castles-for-sale.com.”
    “If I ever open my own antique shop, I know what I’m going to name it.”
    “What?”
    “Important Antiques.”

~ Gurf