gurf.com - humor - What You Wish For

     Be careful what you wish for, because you’ll get it. If this statement wasn’t true, why are so many people repeating it? Yet if it is true—
     For the entire first part of my life, I’ve been completely wrong about my whole mental fabric. Heretofore
     I thought I’d been yearning to become a man of means, troubled perhaps over clearing a couple months to spend in the Islands, not money to cover the Water Works draft, needed at the bank by four.
     I thought I’d been wanting a life of reflection, diverted by an hour with my numismatic holdings, or an occasional spiel of chess, but particularly
     The question of which of my lovelies would be the recipient of primary care that evening, the others’ desire as usual only intensified by their being left wanting.
     Which fortunate one of them would, the following balmy afternoon, be permitted to kneel, presenting me with my New Yorker and Very-Old-on-the-rocks, accompanying me to my hammock—
     The while hoping for— much less expecting— nothing more in return than my ordained affection.
     No. I’ve been wrong all along. What I’d really been wishing for, unbeknownst to myself, was the privilege of having to confront a decision I’d been putting off for years. Should I start accepting gifts from lovers?
     Talers out of the question, checkerboards shelved indefinitely, scarce imagine what coral reefs I was mooning over. Women?
     Women exist. Beauties inside and out. Waiting for me to call them and suggest a gratuity commensurate with their means. So why am I here writing. Get me to a phone. See you later. Bye.

~ Gurf