gurf.com - humor

     Fay called, “Hey.”
    “Hi Skywink. How goes?”
    “Thinking about you, Gurf. Wondering what you’re up to.”
    “Not much. Have a tough decision to make though.”
    “What movie to watch?”
    “Not this time. No, I’ve got four women living with me. One of them has to go. I’ve got to decide which one.”
    “That’s easy. The one who’s least sweet.”
    “No way. She’s the most fun. I can’t decide whether to chuck the least-gorgeous one or the least-intelligent one.”
    “Chuck the least-gorgeous one.”
    “They’re all knockouts.”
    “Chuck the dumbest one then.”
    “They’re all brilliant. Each one can speak at least three languages fluently, and can solve differential equations.”
    “How many languages can you speak?”
    “Maybe three-quarters of one.”
    “Can you do calculus?”
    “No but I can cipher. Give me a pencil and a piece of paper, and I can add and subtract up to a hundred. Didn’t I tell you it was a tough decision?”
    “Well while you’re making it, can you squeeze me in?”
    “Are you gorgeous?”
    “I’ve been called that.”
    “Are you brilliant?”
    “I beat you at Chinese Checkers.”
    “Are you submissive?”
    “Your most casual whim with my life I’ll obey.”
    “Here’s the clincher. Are you limber?”
    “I have a black belt in yoga.”
    “I didn’t know they gave black belts in yoga.”
    “Well if they did I’d have one.”
    “Can you kowtow— crown to the carpet, nose between the knees— for as long as I wish?”
    “I’ll make of myself a snug little ball and stay that way for weeks, if that is what you want.”
    “How small of a ball?”
    “No bigger than a basketball.”
    “How soon can you get here?”
    “I’ll bounce right over.”

~ Gurf