gurf.com - humor - Spooklights

     Rhonda called, “Hi Gurfman.”
    “Hi Sweetmuffin. What’s up?”
    “Heard about your spooklights. Something about your car.”
    “My taillight problem. Sometimes my car’s brake lights stay on, even after I turn off the engine. A sticky switch. If I work the brake pedal they’ll usually go off, but late at night they’re apt to turn themselves back on. If I don’t catch them aglow out my TV-room window, I won’t know till I need to go somewhere that the battery’s dead.”
    “You can’t fix it?”
    “I’ve tried spraying oil under the pedal with limited success. I pull the fuse every night to be safe. But sometimes I forget, or don’t bother.”
    “The neighbors have seen it?”
    “Yeah, or so I hear. I park with the rear facing back toward Sanders Street. Most of them aren’t up late enough, but if they rise before dawn they’ve seen the lights as they’re starting to dim, which would make it even spookier. Anyway since Halloween is coming I want to spook them even more.”
    “Oh?”
    “I’ve thought about weighting the brake pedal for an hour or two, not long enough to run the battery down. Or even make fake tails that would clip on over the real lights, wired to a transformer that plugs into my outdoor outlet. That way I wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to turn them off.”
    “Cool.”
    “If I really wanted I could implement a timer that would have them gradually dim as dawn approached.”
    “So what’s happening tonight?”
    “I’m going on a Kit Kat bar and bourbon bender.”
    “Aren’t those more fun with company?”
    “Sure. Want to join me?”
    “When?”
    “Now.”
    “Be right over.”

~ Gurf