gurf.com - humor - Puppy Love

     Heather called, “What’s up?”
    “Hi Sunflower. I can’t talk long, it’s almost time for The Nightly Business Report. How’s your new dog doing?”
    “He’s adjusting okay, Gurf. In another week this place will be his only home. You need a pet. You like animals.”
    “Animals in bed. They have to know how to cook.”
    “Seriously. Which will it be, a cat or a dog?”
    “A cat. I’ve dated too many of the others.”
    “I meant the four-legged kind.”
    “Having a pet is like being married, only without the sex. I’d prefer it the other way around.”
    “You mean able to have sex without the responsibilities of marriage.”
    “Right. No. Actually I’m saving myself.”
    “Saving yourself?”
    “Yeah I’m saving myself for the right pet. You know how I’ve always talked about wanting to experiment with polygamy. Consensual of course. Maybe start out with two wives. Look for a couple women who like men and women. In love with me and each other.”
    “Those furtive late-night forays to 3coins.com.”
    “Right. Well the way the NASDAQ has been flip-flopping, I don’t think I can afford two women. I may have to settle for a woman and her pet. Marry them both in one ceremony, by either a justice of the peace or a veterinarian.”
    “In the meantime can I be your pet?”
    “Can you do tricks?”
    “A few.”
    “Only a few? In that case I might have to send you to obedience school.”
    “Well— okay.”
    “And there’s a leash-law. When we’re out walking you’ll have to be collared.”
    “What makes you think I won’t just take the collar off?”
    “By luck I have one with a padlock.”
    “Oh.”
    “Still game?”
    “Be right over.”

~ Gurf