gurf.com - humor - Mitebusters

     The other day Katie called, “How’s the Man?”
    “What’s up, Dawnblossom?”
    “I’m doing well, Gurf. You?”
    “I’m nervous.”
    “Nervous about what?”
    “Well, this year things were a little tight financially. I didn’t renew my extermination contract.”
    “Okay so you couldn’t get an inspection. Not the end of the world.”
    “That’s what I thought too. But last night my floors were bouncy.”
    “Your floors are always bouncy.”
    “They seemed bouncier than usual. So I put my ear to the floor and I heard something.”
    “What?”
    “The termites were saying grace.”
    “That does sound bad. Maybe you can call that place and see if they have an emergency team. Mitebusters or something.”
    “I’d have to call my personal banker first. About financing.”
    “Wish I had a personal banker.”
    “I’ve only had mine since Saturday. I took her to dinner and a show and after that we got personal. How are your floors? Are they bouncy?”
    “Only when I think about you. Now that you mention it though I’m a little worried about the lot next door.”
    “That skinny little plot?”
    “Yeah. This guy bought it. He’s thinking about pulling a trailer in.”
    “Gosh. I remember how glad you were to get out of the mobile park, and now one’s coming to you. Rental, I suppose?”
    “Probably.”
    “No problem then.”
    “How’s that?”
    “Four out of five people who rent trailers are alcoholic smokers. Wait a year or two. Cigarette ash on the couch. Hot coal snuggles down in those cushions like a kitten in a blanket. Hour or two later, whoosh! All that thin paneling. Up like cardboard. Mushroom cloud. Fire engines. Over in minutes.”
    “That’s reassuring. I’m glad I called.”
    “I’m glad you did too.”

~ Gurf