gurf.com - humor - Miss Martyr

     Miss Martyr was a female suicide bomber. After blowing herself up she found herself standing on clouds. In front of her was a gate decorated like a Christian church. Saint Peter was there.
    “Is this Paradise?” she asked.
    “No,” Saint Pete replied, “This is Heaven. Paradise is around the corner.”
     Miss Martyr walked around the corner where she found another gate, this one decorated like an Islamic mosque. The prophet Mohammed was there.
    “Is this Paradise?” she asked.
    “Yes,” Mohammed replied, “This is Paradise. I see you’re a martyr. I suppose you’ll be wanting your 72 virgins?”
    “What would I do with 72 virgins? I’m straight.”
    “That’s good, ’cause we ran out of virgins some time ago.”
    “I wouldn’t turn down a decent-looking guy though.”
     Mohammed’s ears perked. “Decent-looking? In what way?”
    “Oh the usual— tall, dark, and handsome.”
     Mohammed looked into her eyes, making little effort to conceal his excitement. “You— you wouldn’t happen to be a virgin yourself, would you?”
    “Why yes. As a matter of fact I am.”
    “See that little rack there? Take a number.”
     Apprehensively Miss Martyr took the next card from the rack. It bore the number 72.
    “What number did you get?” Mohammed asked.
    “72”
     Mohammed almost jumped out of his sandals, but regained control and made an invitational gesture with his arm. “Come in.”
     Miss Martyr followed Mohammed into the anteroom of Paradise. Like outside, it was floored in clouds.
    “Wait here a minute.” Mohammed picked up a huge megaphone. Carrying it to the center of the room, he opened a trapdoor in the clouds, stuck the megaphone down through the hole, and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Osama, time to come up!”

~ Gurf