gurf.com - humor - Crowded Runways

     Kathy called, “What’s up?”
    “How goes it, Bluechip.”
    “Had trouble sleeping last night, Gurf.”
    “How come?”
    “Was worried about your block money flow.”
    “It’s a tad early for that. My IPO is stalled.”
    “Still in lockup, eh?”
    “Crowded runways. I’ve got other things on my mind. Had a fire this afternoon.”
    “A fire?”
    “Small one luckily. Toaster oven.”
    “That’s no problem. Just scrape off the toast and eat it anyway.”
    “It wasn’t in the oven part. It was in the part with the controls. Electrical fire. Flames were shooting out of the popper-downer slot. Quite a smell too, like burning plastic, only it was probably the insulation off the wires.”
    “I guess you unplugged it?”
    “And pitched it. It was just a rental.”
    “A rental? You rented a toaster oven?”
    “It was rent-to-own. Just $2.98 a week. I’m going to buy the next one though. They’re only about twenty bucks.”
    “I didn’t think you got paid till next Friday.”
    “I’m okay. I stopped by CheckAhead.”
    “What did that cost you?”
    “Nothing. They gave me money. Besides, the girl there is cute and super-friendly.”
    “As friendly as me?”
    “Not nearly, nor as cute. But still incredibly cute— and friendly.”
    “I imagine. You pay her salary.”
    “She can appreciate a dotcom genius.”
    “I bet she can. So when is your ship coming in?”
    “Not sure, but I know it has to be soon.”
    “Why’s that?”
    “It left port two decades ago.”
    “Wonder why those toaster ovens even have pusher-downers. There’s nothing that pops up. A button would do.”
    “Good question. Maybe they had a lot of them left over from when they made toasters that way.”
    “You’re crazy.”
    “That’s why I’m charming.”

~ Gurf