gurf.com - humor - Brain Surgery

     Yesterday Jeanette called, “How’s the man?”
    “Could be better, Mystery Woman. You?”
    “I’m fine. What gives?”
    “I’m looking at some serious surgery. Brain surgery.”
    “Really Gurf? How come?”
    “I’m broke and can’t get a job.”
    “Why not?”
    “My brain is wired wrong. I’ve been an artist too long. My art isn’t selling like it once did, but I’m too hooked on the lifestyle to look for anything else.”
    “Why surgery? What will it do?”
    “It’s a complex and difficult operation, never before attempted, requiring the world’s most brilliant surgeons. They are going to literally rewire part of my brain, nerve-ending by nerve-ending, so when I wake up my only career ambition will be to manage a supermarket.”
    “Why that?”
    “There’s an opening at Kroger.”
    “What about your art?”
    “I’ll still enjoy art but only as a hobby, on weekends. The rest of the time my focus will be canned goods and produce. That’s if the operation is successful.”
    “Is it risky?”
    “Incredibly risky. If one thing goes wrong I could end up a bellhop with a low starting salary.”
    “Well good luck then.”
    “Thanks. I’ll need it. But if it is successful I’ll be the most renowned patient since that guy who got the first heart transplant. You saw the movie Zelig in which Woody Allen said that great medicine requires not only great doctors but great patients.”
    “Are there awards for being a great patient?”
    “Not Nobel Prizes or anything like that. But I might get to leave a pair of crutches at Lourdes, or one crutch at least.”
    “That would be cool.”

~ Gurf