gurf.com - humor - Ambition

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     Georgia called, “Hi Crazy Horse.”
    “Hi Wild Woman. What’s up?”
    “Just wondering how you’re coming with your career goals, Gurf.”
    “Which ones?”
    “Which ones are you still working on?”
    “All of them. Okay I haven’t made my first billion yet.”
    “How about million?”
    “Nope.”
    “Thousand?”
    “In progress.”
    “Hundred?”
    “Ask Easy Pawn. Everything’s coming eventually though.”
    “Could you run through them again?”
    “What?”
    “Your ambitions.”
    “Okay. My art shown in all the great museums, becoming an internet billionaire, founding a major world faith called unitheism, a MacArthur Fellowship, Nobel Prizes in Peace and Literature, marrying twelve supermodels one-a-month for a year, and after death becoming the first non-catholic to be beatified.”
    “Sounds like a full plate. In the meantime how are things with Angelina Jolie?”
    “Haven’t connected with her yet. I’m down to Plan C.”
    “Which is?”
    “Becoming a leading man and getting cast alongside her.”
    “How’s that going?”
    “Slow, although a while back I worked as an extra in the movie U.S. Marshals.”
    “Don’t recall seeing you in that.”
    “I was too small a speck in the background to be recognized. I played a press photographer at the site of the plane crash. My great scene where I’m right in front of the camera got edited out.”
    “Sorry to hear that.”
    “Tommy Lee Jones nearly had a friend and I kicked off the set for creating a disturbance posing with a donut. Other than that all I heard was how over-budget the picture was. It increased in increments of $30 million each time someone mentioned it— $60 million, $90 million, $120 million, etc.”
    “Anything else?”
    “They gave me some acting advice.”
    “Which was?”
    “Don’t quit your day job.”
    “Did you take it?”
    “I was unemployed.”

~ Gurf