gurf.com - humor - Vibrations

    I once had a girl friend who could pick up vibrations— from old churches, houses, even furniture. I had her sit in a Charles II armchair. “I’m getting something,” she said.
    “What?”
    “In 1692 this chair was in the home of Samuel Sewall of Boston. He’s sitting in this chair. He’s talking about some trial, in the town of Salem.”
    “Witchcraft!”
    She appeared insulted. “What I’m doing isn’t witchcraft. It’s a complex science based on the holography of the space-time continuum.”
    “No, I mean that’s what the trial was for— witchcraft.”
    “Oh. Yes you’re right, it’s about witches. The vibrations are getting stronger. Say— you wouldn’t happen to have a musical instrument pickup, would you?”
    “I have an old guitar pickup, and a small amp.”
    By finding the right spot on the chair to attach the device, both of us could hear the ancient puritan’s voice booming through the loudspeaker. He was talking to someone else who we couldn’t hear, someone named Cotton.
    “Cotton Mather!”
    She tried a 17th Century Italian court chair. “He’s over here, in this chair.”
    I hurriedly borrowed another pickup and speaker from a musician friend. Now we could hear both men conversing back and forth. I set up a tape recorder to preserve every word.
    Up to then I hadn’t thought 3D imagers were available outside the military, but I checked with Radio Shack and found I could just afford one. By close attention to affairs of the budget, within a month I had a second one, so besides hearing them we could see ghostly images of both men in their chairs.
    After that I penned A Compleate New England Witchcraft, in seven volumes. Watch for it at Amazon.

~ Gurf